Our entry in the Houston Art Car Parade!













Bubbles Bomlovah loves the bomb!






















On stage, accepting our trophy (and we didn't even buy off the judges this time!) Dolly clutches it below.



































A better look at the amazing machine, created by some slackers who have nothing better to do!

More petroleum guzzling statements!

Submitted from the road by Sparkle--May 8, 2008

Thursday was a most auspicious day for The Missile Dick Chicks! We paid a visit to the world headquarters of our #1 war profiteering friends, Halliburton, to present their head, Dave Lesar, with a Golden Richard! We were so happy to be welcomed in their lily white lobby, surrounded by pro-global profit propaganda on the in-house TV screens, we had to sing & dance!

After we entertained, the manly security team and the local sheriff saw that we got safely back to our vehicle.


Friday brought more Golden Richard action – a visit to KBR, whose profits have gone through the roof in the last year. Bill Utt, the head, was out to lunch and not able to accept his award, but we videotaped a special routine with the internal cameras to the delight of all the employees. We are thrilled that sidewalks in Houston are safe, clean, and privately owned by our rich friends!

Submitted from the road by Bubbles Bomlovah-- May 7, 2008

Howdy fans! I know y’all are dying to hear about our World Domination Tour. Candy, Lula, Sparkle , Becky and I, Bubbles arrived in Houston last night, with Video Lady. Dolly and W are still en route with our beautiful “War Machine”.





This morning, we left our host’s home and made our way to Crawford for our Homecoming. And what an exciting trip it was. We stopped in Rosebeck, Texas to get coffee and met some nice little people who were very excited by our patriotism. A patriotic fan gave us a lovely umbrella to protect our missiles from the tornado. Luckily, the tornado waited until we had passed because God loves us . We saw many long horns and woolly cowboys—wheat fields and fresh corn.

We arrived in Crawford just in time to go shoppin’ at the Red Bull souvenir shop where we bought wedding knickknacks, flag o Texas scarves and other commemorative items. W was there and we had our pictures taken with him.
We also talked to our favorite news station- Fox news.


They asked about Jenna and we almost cried, that wild child has grown up.
Our advice for her was that she should just close her eyes and do it for America.
We need more cannon fodder.

Later, we had burgers at Dubya’s favorite general store. They shore make yummy burgers in Crawford. We met a lady who had seen us on youtube and many curious children.

After our brief sojourn, we stopped at that abandoned eyesore, Camp Casey, where the whiners tormented the town and Dubya. My, it was a disgustin mess---discarded peacenik signs and dead troop memorials everywhere. Those silly hippies even grew flowers in the shape of a Mercedes logo. The camp looked like they musta run away in a hurry because obviously they were wrong. How dare they disturb Dubya just because their offspring was killed. Well, we also saw a beautiful t-shirt that said Sin-D Sheehan- where did she come from?
V-Nuts or Uranus.

We then drove to Dubya’s ranch for mint juleps on the porch at sunset! It was wonderful- Laura is such a lovely host even if she is a prude. Becky had to sneak to the bathroom to do a line with Jenna.

Election Year 2008 is going to be a great one!
What does this mean for our nation? The first woman president?
The first black president? Another white guy in the White House?
No, none of those things! It's the
Missile Dick Chicks 2008 World Domination Tour
and we can't do it without y'all's help!
Y'all please watch Sparkle's Appeal on Youtube and send the link to everyone y'all know.

To date, we have raised $4,000 that will take us to our first destination: Houston for the fabulous Art Car Parade on May 10th! This trip also includes a visit to our beloved hometown, Crawford, Texas,
where we will do a special Command Performance for Dubya & The Secret Service!

More destinations on our 2008 Tour: The Democratic & Republican conventions, in Denver & St. Paul, respectively, numerous weekend excursions to rest stops in the Northeast and hopefully a trip to the Swinging State of Ohio!

Projected pricetag? $10,000! (y'all know petroleum is at an all-time high!)
Your donations will fund everything from plane tickets & motel rooms to fishnet stockings & silver spray paint. No amount is too large or too small!

Make a TAX DEDUCTIBLE contribution on the WEB
(artist name: Sparkle, artist group: Missile Dick Chicks).

or

MAIL a CHECK or MONEY ORDER made out to THE FIELD, earmarked to
The Missile Dick Chicks to:
The Field, 161 Sixth Avenue, New York, NY 10013

We hope to bring you updates of our Houston leg of the tour here, watch this space!

Last night Sparkle and Sybil Wars flew all the way from Crawford to New York City and ventured out in the pouring rain only because their beloved celebrity idol Stephen Colbert of the Colbert Report was preaching the gospel at the Barnes & Noble in Union Square. The Chicks are so proud of Stephen for having so many fans ready to rip off his clothing and get a piece of that gorgeous flesh that only a fine tuned corporate security detail, including the NYPD will do.

Unfortunately Mr. Colbert's handers made an awful mistake in neglecting to inform the staff that we were to be put in the front row. This forced us to wait in line next to the little people for an hour and a half.

We were about to reach the throne of honor to have our books (that we will never read) signed, when a dutiful corporate low-end manager approached us. He mentioned that because we are so beautiful and eye-catching, we were distracting everyone from the main attraction. He actually accused us of purposely trying to steal the spotlight from Mr. Colbert. Well, of course that wasn’t true, so we were at a bit of an impasse. Eventually we agreed to wait in the VIP section of the bookstore while one of Mr. Colbert’s minions got our books signed for us, naturally ahead of all the other young people waiting. They must have really been in a hurry to get us out the door, I don’t know why.

Meanwhile, Videolady was there with us as usual, and since she’s not anywhere near as eye-catching as us, she went ahead and approached Mr. Colbert directly (in an orderly fashion of course). He implied he'd never heard of us, and said if we weren't happy with our treatment, then we should contact our attorneys. But we were expecting something a bit more welcoming than that from him! We are just so confused and we don’t know who to blame. After all, we are rich Republicans and we're used to marching in wherever we please. Even if our stunning looks cause a major disruption.I mean, last time I checked, you can't get arrested for being patriotic looking...or can you?

With both Dubya and that horrible man from Iran in New York during the same week, we had to make our own presence felt! A tour of Times Square was in order. First we entertained Mr. Colbert's audience on the sidewalk to great acclaim.

We met a sweet man nearby who loved us - he abandoned his evil homeland France for the wonder of NYC, but sadly his daughter works for that terrible ACLU! What a horrible thing for a parent to endure.


Next, we visited the folks at the Clinton Initiative Conference at the Sheraton Hotel and performed some songs with no security protection! It seems the whole place was packed with a bunch of bogus business leaders and other do-gooders who are trying to undo all our "iniatives" of the last 7 years!

What a relief it was to see someone who clearly has her priorities in order, this charming driver:















After our glorious march through times square to visit the nasdaq, we stopped by the struggling WBAI's board meeting and offered to purchase it. We can turn it into a Christian radio station! The offer is on the table if they get real desperate.

The following report and photos submitted by Videolady on March 18, 2007.

Today in New York City we celebrated four glorious years of un inhibited warfare in Iraq. We were joined by two new Chicks, Laura Lies and Matilda Moneybags.



We taunted the few hippies who straggled across 42nd street attempting in vain to stop our glorious war machine.


On the way home we visited our favorite drug company Pfizer to celebrate the Missile Dick Chicks' five year anniversary. Oh my, how time flies!

The following is a recap of events on January 27, 2007 from Vendetta Washington, with photos from Video Lady.

Last weekend we attended a sickening example of the flagrant abuse of the first amendment: a hippie rally in DC. Those unsightly hairy people do not understand that "our rights" were made for the elite, and not the commonfolk. Good thing my staff did not hear these heathens speaking their minds: next thing you know my slave will want the minimum wage increase! She doesn't know other people get "paid" for their work, let alone incentives for lazy complacency. I worked hard to get in Jesus' favor, and so should they!






Sparkle and Bubbles (mysteriously absent in above photo) selflessly preached the Word to the impolite, loud, greasy masses even at the expense of their weekly
mani/pedi/botox 's. Some of them even thought their message of bending over for the Iraqistani's was going to get on TV! Isn't that tragically naive? They won't get a work of news coverage if Bubbles' media mogul husband has anything to do with it!

The National Review Conservative Summit (photo above, Jeb Bush!) nearby was attended by Video Lady, who was miraculously sober enough to videotape the whole thing! The rest of the Chicks were escorted out of the Summit for our own protection at a 3:1 cop-to-chick ratio. It was probably for the best, as it was clearly an event for the menfolk, and we did not want to penetrate like some of the uppity sluts who attended. (Video Lady seen here with our hero Ralph Reed.)

At the rally, I bumped into some scum from my darker days as a lesbian sympathizer. Before my husband went on life support, he courted me briefly with bling and a massive life insurance policy before our shotgun wedding while he was doped up on something powdery i gave him for the occasion. Before he bought me out, I mean married me, I used to come in close contact with the confused queers we saw in DC. Thank goodness for His billions or I might still be gyrating my nipped-and-tucked-to-perfection fanny for the little people. Now I only do it for Dick, Dollars, and Dubya! Don't tell Laura.

And speaking of Dubya, on Saturday he spent the afternoon entertaining the troops with his lasso tricks.