Y’all may have noticed that our website hasn’t really been updated in a year. We feel we owe y’all an explanation. Y’see, our webmaster Jimmy-Dick Petro developed a wee problem with what the Air Force refers to as “Go Pills”.

Unfortunately, there was no space to be had at the Betty Ford clinic. And ol’ Jimmy-Dick wouldn’t even consider going to a facility not run by Republicans. This delayed his treatment for quite a while, during which the only code he wanted to deal with had an “-ine” at the end of it.

Finally, Betty Ford herself personally intervened and got Jimmy-Dick a room, after kicking that sorry tramp Courtney Love out on her tatooed ass. We’ll never forget our time with the ex-First Lady as she lectured Jimmy-Dick on the perils of pill-popping. Why she talked a mile a minute, with the wild and bloodshot eyes of a true believer! We’d swear she actually lost a few pounds during our ten-minute meeting. A gal’s gotta watch her weight! Now things are back to normal at Missile Dick Central and y’all can expect more timely updates of our many adventures.

Hugs and Kisses!

The Missile Dick Chicks