Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Mingling with the Masses 

7:37 AM (permalink)
Babs reports:
The following is a recap of events on January 27, 2007 from Vendetta Washington, with photos from Video Lady.

Last weekend we attended a sickening example of the flagrant abuse of the first amendment: a hippie rally in DC. Those unsightly hairy people do not understand that "our rights" were made for the elite, and not the commonfolk. Good thing my staff did not hear these heathens speaking their minds: next thing you know my slave will want the minimum wage increase! She doesn't know other people get "paid" for their work, let alone incentives for lazy complacency. I worked hard to get in Jesus' favor, and so should they!






Sparkle and Bubbles (mysteriously absent in above photo) selflessly preached the Word to the impolite, loud, greasy masses even at the expense of their weekly
mani/pedi/botox 's. Some of them even thought their message of bending over for the Iraqistani's was going to get on TV! Isn't that tragically naive? They won't get a work of news coverage if Bubbles' media mogul husband has anything to do with it!

The National Review Conservative Summit (photo above, Jeb Bush!) nearby was attended by Video Lady, who was miraculously sober enough to videotape the whole thing! The rest of the Chicks were escorted out of the Summit for our own protection at a 3:1 cop-to-chick ratio. It was probably for the best, as it was clearly an event for the menfolk, and we did not want to penetrate like some of the uppity sluts who attended. (Video Lady seen here with our hero Ralph Reed.)

At the rally, I bumped into some scum from my darker days as a lesbian sympathizer. Before my husband went on life support, he courted me briefly with bling and a massive life insurance policy before our shotgun wedding while he was doped up on something powdery i gave him for the occasion. Before he bought me out, I mean married me, I used to come in close contact with the confused queers we saw in DC. Thank goodness for His billions or I might still be gyrating my nipped-and-tucked-to-perfection fanny for the little people. Now I only do it for Dick, Dollars, and Dubya! Don't tell Laura.

And speaking of Dubya, on Saturday he spent the afternoon entertaining the troops with his lasso tricks.
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Sunday, February 04, 2007

2006 Year in Photos 

9:49 AM (permalink)
Babs reports:
Yes, once again it's been a while since the last update, but that doesn't mean the Missile Dick Chicks have had an idle year. We have photographic proof (most of 'em courtesy Randi Cecchine) that we did a little more than track our stock in CACI. It also seems this was the year that wayward chicks returned to the fold, with Candy, Dolly, and Annie all flying in for visits. Sparkle submitted this summary, starting with our recent outings in early 2007:

January: NASDAQ, where it all began


Sparkle, Candy, Dolly, & Dicklet's Chicklet met up in New York City for a gloriously decadent shopping trip in January. By night, they checked their NASDAQ stocks and Dolly felt the Urge to Surge, encouraging our youth to enlist now. It was just like old times.


December: Macy's
Annie Riggins triumphantly returns to New York after her year-long guest tenure at Bob Jones University to join Lula Lolly Pop, Bubbles Bomblovah, & Jayne Dough for their special holiday appearance at Macy's, inspiring everyone to SHOP in the name of war, & baby Jesus!


November: Sparkle goes to Hoboken



Sparkle & Video Lady hit the streets of Hoboken, NJ, promoting shopping instead of voting. Watch the video & meet New Jersey's true patriots!

October: Election season


Sparkle, Jayne Dough & Sybil Wars hit Times Square with great ardor just before the first Tuesday in November, that terrible moment when the little people think they have a choice - Election Day! Although the outcome was a disappointment to Dubya, we know we did our best to keep citizens away from the polls and urge young people to enlist as cannon fodder. Time for martinis!


September: Dubya's in Town!
So of course, we are too--here in Times Square to ensure Dubya gets a warm welcome from New Yorkers after his UN Speech, in which he tells the rest of the world how it's gonna be--next stop, Iran!


July: Stuff Happens


Vendetta & Sparkle visit The Public Theater in New York City during the run of Stuff Happens.
The ladies were pleased as punch when the House Manager confirmed their suspicion that the lobby is, in fact, PRIVATE PROPERTY! Sparkle was grinning with delight at the thought of its commie founder, Joe Papp, rolling over in his grave after the chicks' visit.




July: Five Towns
Sybil Wars, Jayne Dough & Sparkle strike a pose with their chauffeur for the Five Towns Forum picnic in lovely Long Island, NY. Joined by Hazel Bola (she was off proselytizing when this photos was taken), the ladies had great success converting lots of communists under the influence of Dolly's special patriotic punch.

July: Sparkle with globe


Sparkle catches up with the news of import from a most reliable source.







June: Musical Theater
What a glorious reunion when we entertained Broadway audiences with Bubbles' superior dance routines! Perhaps our husbands will answer the calls of that New York agent and back us on The Great White Way for campaign '08?





April: 21 Dick Salute


There's nothing that compares to a good old fashioned 21 Dick Salute!
Here, we celebrate the 2nd Non-Annual, 3rd Anniversarial version at our favorite spot in Times Square. This was right after an earlier event in Lower Manhattan.






Please keep scrolling for early 2006 fun stuff like travels to New Orleans & Boston, the war anniversary, and the State of the Union.
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