Monday, January 24, 2005

Missile Dick Chicks, the Movie 

11:02 PM (permalink)
Babs reports:
As you might imagine, ladies such as ourselves with very, very rich husbands live a different kind of lifestyle than many common folk. For example, our husbands always want to know exactly what we're doing when they aren't around, so they hired a spy to track our every move. Her name is Jackie but we call her Videolady. She is a former FBI covert agent who follows us around with a video camera all the time and reports back to our husbands. Her work might take her back underground at any moment. As part of her cover she tells people she is making a documentary about us. In fact, she has built a whole parallel life in which she pretends to be a college instructor. She has even gone so far as to edit a trailer for the "documentary" that she says she is making about us, with a big fundraising effort to go with it. I tell you, that Videolady is very clever! Check out the trailer which contains highlights of our Pre-emptive Victory Tour.
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Thursday, January 20, 2005

Happy Coronation!  

11:14 PM (permalink)
Babs reports:
Well it was quite a day! Of course we needed LOTS of beauty rest after a night of pre-emptive celebrating, so we were off to a late start this morning. We nudged Dubya to wake him up for the big inauguration festivities and got him in the car to deliver him back to Dick. However, he was acting so irrational and unsensible that we kicked him out of the car on our way to the day spa for our manicures, etc. We're pretty sure he made it in time for the swearing-in. Sorry Laura! After our manicures we discovered to our dismay that the traffic was so bad we'd have to take public transportation if we wanted to see any of the parade. Since we were slumming with the masses, we sang some songs for the long-haired dissidents who had gathered to protest the war or some such thing. One can never give up on converting those poor souls! They seemed quite pleased with our songs and at one cafe we received a standing ovation! Finally we got to the parade, where we wept with the sight of the giant US flag float.


photo Randi Cecchini

The eagle float inspired us to sing a round of "Let the Eagle Soar". Of course that was also done earlier. Other inspiring floats included the one with the Indians and General Custer. Also, we felt a special kinship with the pom-pom girls who had to dance out there in the cold with very little clothing. They were accompanied by great military bands, as well as the well-publicized vast numbers of security personnel. It's all about freedom (to invade other countries)!

With the heavy security and so forth, the inauguration festivities were slightly reminiscent of the big RNC party in New York, but with a major exception according to Lula. "Here you see the real money, furs and diamonds, not like in it was in New York." I guess most of us are afraid to wear our best jewels unless we know there's maximum security!
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Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Sparkle meets Ali G 

11:58 PM (permalink)
sparkle reports:
Recently, on a shopping trip to New York City, I met the HBO personality Ali G. at a wealthy aquaintance's housewarming. Ever since Dubya's victory, we ladies have been inundated with requests to appear on various television programs, but have declined every one, preferring to relax with martinis at our ranches in Crawford. However, Mr. G. was quite convincing, assuring me that HBO is not "tv", but a form of media only available to the upper class. He admitted to being a big fan of the Chicks and holding a special fondness for our missiles and fishnet stockings. Here, we are discussing the details of the contract. I'm sure my husband will understand...
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