Friday, June 25, 2004

Gas Prices Rising! 

9:07 PM (permalink)
Peaches reports:
Howdy,

While performing with my fellow chicks in Times Square last night I questioned red blooded American tourists about the price of gas in their hometown. It was almost $2.00 a gallon in San Diego! Yahoo, that makes my wig tingle. We're even richer than we were yesterday.

Now don't y'all worry about this hand over of power in Iraq next week. Dubya has assured me that we will install our puppet government and Cheney will continue business as usual.

Kiss, kiss,

Peaches
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Saturday, June 19, 2004

So much confusion out there... 

10:28 PM (permalink)
mrs. ivana lott-moore reports:
Well it seems the whole world's abuzz tonight!

Local activist Ben Shepard, editor of the anthology From act up to the WTO, recently published a call for a "post-camp activist moment": "If we are going to suggest that another world is possible," he wrote, "we'd better be able to suggest that this world is more than simply ridiculous." It's not hard to imagine that flag-waving Republicans will look high-minded compared with, say, the Missile Dick Chicks, who wear leotards and tin-foil phalluses and sing songs like "Shop! in the Name of War."

The Republicans are very HIGH minded and don't you forget it!

PS - They are not 'tin-foil' they are pure PATRIOT missiles.

(Sisters - I think the plan is working - we have these guys talking about getting into some khaki!)
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We don't need no stinking permit! 

9:51 PM (permalink)
mrs. ivana lott-moore reports:
To the author of the recent Washington Post Article about the RNC:

[By Michael Powell, Washington Post Staff Writer]

Mr. Powell,

We are the extremely idle wives of extremely wealthy men.
We shop where and when we want.
We have not applied for a 'permit' to shop.
We do not need a permit to shop.
So what if we sing when we shop?
The only time I'm not shopping in fact is when I sleep.
Then I dream about shopping.

If you leftist screwballs have your way we wealthy will need a permit to shop!

As far as I know this is still America, My America!
(1) comments

oh pardon me... 

9:39 PM (permalink)
mrs. ivana lott-moore reports:
This martoonie is kickin my butt!

That was for anthony, of the GNN...

PS Men in khaki are hot, but men in fly boy suits trussed up real tight, who dodged the war but still have a hankerin' for droppin bombs are hotter!


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Not just for men anymore! 

9:17 PM (permalink)
mrs. ivana lott-moore reports:
In reply to "Andrew" If that is your real name.

We firmly believe women can be big dicks too!!!
Talk Softly, (how else do you walk in Manolos?) And carry a big dick!
Or MARRY ONE!

Power certainly is an aphrosediac! Somethin' had to be workin for good old
Henry Kissinger, bless his big dick swinin' little heart!

Paris and Nicki just helicoptered over to see the Butter Eatin' Contest!

A little secret? They learned how much fun it is slummin it with Los Perquenoes Persona from W - it took a long time for him to work that Connecticut crick out his jaw though and talk like the rest of us Texans (fake and real)! But now W has that "common touch" and "down home feel"
He is bi-lingual too - You know he named his oil company ARBUSTO? That's means BUSH "en espagnole" Isn't that the cutest thing you ever heard?

Now if we could get Cheney to un-clench we'd be on top of the world!

Oh wait, We are!!!
Hot Damn, it's great to be rich, white and American!

Paris is getting bitchy! Bye!

PS Girls - those Manolos really aren't good for more than one wearin'
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To our many fans, 

8:00 PM (permalink)
mrs. ivana lott-moore reports:
I just want to say thank you to the little people, or as they say "en espagnol" - los perquenos personas - (Jeb taught me that!)
My husband, Mr. Moore and I so appreciate you perquenos personas paying
your taxes on time this year! I got a rebate of over $98,000.00 dollars thanks to GW's tax vision for America. I won't mention my hubbie's rebate amount because he is such an extremely private man! The benefits will trickle down to you sometime soon, I just know it! He suprised me two days after our rebate arrived by buying me a custom pink Hummer! Imagine that, apparently if you have enough money you can get anything (or anyone he, he) you want made custom order! I'll drive it on Sunday's to church! And send my blue one in for detailing! OH! Gracias los perquenos personas at the detailing shop!

The best part is that we can deduct about 80% of the cost of the pink Hummer, as I use it to carry my trunk show essentails around for my little design business. It's a 'truck' under tax law. Isn't that fantastic! Yes, it's a complete flop my business, but I get to fly all over the world for free (fabric buying HA, HA) and drive colorful vehicles that match my outfits!

I'm a Gemini- so keeping vehicles matching my mercurial moods is a full time job. Luckily Eduardo, another lovely perqueno persona - my chauffer AND my vehicle buyer- among other things (wink, wink - he's not that perqueno!) I can't help myself - those mini coopers are just like candy! So sad they only come in about 8 colors!

Well, remember Ladies and fellow Americans - you can never be to rich, too thin or own too many combustion engine vehicles!

Shop til you drop!

Mrs. Ivana Lott-Moore

(2) comments

MDC Responds to Guerrilla News Network's "Anthony" 

7:55 PM (permalink)
Babs reports:
Allow me to respond to semi-recent comments regarding us Ladies.

"...Take the Missile Dick Chicks - their pornographic appendages do, of course, make a valid point - in many ways it does come down to men and their dicks. But is that really the best technique to get your point across? Is it even original? I saw the same cocks back in the No Nukes days in the 80s.

Am I getting too old? Or has the age of the giant paper mache puppet come and gone? A bunch of black-clad anarchists or leotard-wearing, postmodern clowns is what they're expecting. Wouldn't the most guerrilla move be to show up wearing khakis, so when the Homeland Security shock troops start getting rough, the rest of the country will see people who look like themselves getting their heads cracked?"


We Missile Dick Chicks are looking forward to the khaki-wearing march that Anthony is planning. Of course red, white, and blue is much more colorful and patriotic, but if you want to welcome the Repubicans in Gap khakis that sounds great to us! In fact, the more khaki, the better (especially if made in a Honduran sweatshop..we'll get even richer that way). What better vision of the world can we create than everyone in khaki!? Most likely the Republicans will be inspired to join you in the khaki parade during the RNC in NYC, then no one will be able to detect a hint of protest. Wouldn't that be wonderful? Almost like a normal day in Crawford, Texas!
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Friday, June 18, 2004

I am blogging! 

5:22 PM (permalink)
Peaches reports:
Oh the sweetness of losing my blog virginity.

My fellow Americans, I am thrilled to have this opportunity to share the patriotic upchucking of my drug addled brain. I look forward to hours of excess like the waving of our flag forever making us dizzy and wasteful of all the resourses within our grasp.

Yours forever,

Peaches
(0) comments

Tuesday, June 15, 2004

good news for all patriotic chicks who want to strap one on for victory 

7:24 PM (permalink)
candy can reports:
how to become a missile dick chick:

*You have to believe that exorbitant corporate wealth is good for everybody - with money.


*If God hadn't intended for us to have power, he wouldn't have given us the money to buy our very own president!


*You must be forever committed to keeping our CEO in the White House, along with his l'il Commander In Chief (that's Dick 'n' Bush, in case you didn't know!).


*Daddies are important! Either your real Daddy or your Sugar Daddy needs to be connected to Big Oil, Auto or Wartime Wealth -- who do you think's gonna buy your boob job, not to mention your missile??


*You must wear your hair Just Right: red, white, or blue, or red-white-AND-blue all together.


*Our fashion inspirations are Nancy Reagan Red, Barbara Bush Blue, and Lynn Cheney White. Diamonds and Pearls are our favorite jewels!


*Our political role models are the same as our husbands': Ronald Reagan, Richard Nixon, and General Custer.


*Our favorite foods are BBQ. bourbon, and barbituates.


*If you're at all confused, think Supergirl with a Boob Job and a Strap-On Missile: we believe in Lies, Money, and the American Way.


*Too Much Is NOT ENOUGH! -- Long Live the Empire!!!


*If you want to start your own MISSILE DICK CHICKS, grab 2 or more friends (so you at least have Red White and Blue wigs), and go! You can check out our pictures, and see what we looked like at the beginning. We can help you with getting your costumes together and talk to you about your plans for the RNC. We'd love to see 3 Missile Dick Chicks at every corner! Contact candy_can@missiledickchicks.net
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Monday, June 14, 2004

times square thursdays 

12:57 PM (permalink)
candy can reports:
missile dick chicks will be out on times square again this thursday 6/17. look for us around 8pm at the corners of 43rd & bdwy, or 44th & bdwy, or all around the recruiting triangle. some times we are a little earlier, some times we are late. that's just how we are, ladies from crawford texas.
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