Thursday, September 16, 2004

Pre-emptive Victory Tour Day 2: Columbus, OH Wednesday Sept 15-Thursday Sept 16 

11:28 PM (permalink)
Babs reports:
Yesterday we left Cleveland and picked up our good friend, the Principessa Berlusconi, at the airport in Columbus, Ohio. She is a foreigner, but the good kind, rich and powerful like us. We dined in the Short North area of Columbus at the Short North Tavern. They had wonderful food and beer and after our meal they turned down the music so we could sing "Oil" for them.

This morning we headed straight for the Ohio Republican Headquarters, on Rich Street. We wanted to get some buttons that say Bush Cheney like the one Bubbles got during the RNC. They had a big brick building with tinted windows, and opened the door for us when they saw us coming. They wouldn't give us any buttons though and ended up shutting the door right in our faces! They said, "If you don't get off our property we'll have you arrested". We don't know why they didn't give us the proper respect. We sang some songs for them anyway while they watched and took photos from behind the tinted windows. The police on bikes came by and they were very friendly just like the NYPD. By now it was lunchtime so we went to the state capitol district and entertained the workers on their lunch breaks. On the Capitol grounds we were stopped by two State Trooper ladies with lovely hats who were concerned that we were conducting a demonstration. She got the idea by the position of our missiles on our bodies. Once we explained that we were celebrating war and that our missiles were safe and secure they allowed us to walk across the grounds. We spent a large amount of time in front of one government building where they were very interested in our songs. Some of the state employees told their co-workers to come down and watch us. We gave away nearly all our business cards.

We dropped by the Ohio State University campus but school is not in session yet. We posed for some photos at the Wexner Art Center and sang for the arty folks. We were gloating about how the military budget is decreasing funds for the arts and education. Also Bubbles wanted to show off her high kicks. Near campus we got ice-cream at the United Dairy Farms and met Alisa, who is a suicide girl. They just might want to start a local chapter of the Missile Dick Chicks.

Finally before leaving Columbus we stopped off at the Franklin County Republican HQ on Gay Street. That is a major coincidence because we found out that one of the local Republican politicians is GAY. I guess it's not news anymore if a Democrat is gay. The county volunteers were more responsive to our charms than the state ones. They posed with us in photos but we still didn't get any Dubya buttons.
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